Wednesday, October 20, 2010

i could really use a wish right now...


i'm still getting use to this blogging thing. sometimes i have so much to write about, but then i have to be careful of how much information i put out there. people like to twist words around or assume when they really know nothing. you think if you follow someones blog for long enough, you get a little glimpse of whats going on in their world - you build some type of connection - you laugh, cry, mourn, cheer with them. but at the same time people only allow you to see what they want you to see. its like keeping someone at arms length - you give them just enough to keep coming back. the purpose of me starting my blog was because i was actually inspired by two other friends that currently blog as well. i looked at my blog as a release of some sort...to get things out and to share things. as of lately my blog seems to be consumed of not whats going on in my life, but my friends lives. i really don't have a lot of interesting things going on in my life right now...school and work, that about sums up my life. for the last couple of months i've been so busy contributing to other people's happiness that i put my own on the back burner. not purposely, but it just kinda happened. in result of this, i've managed to push away one of the most important people out of my life. i didn't think things would play out this way, but you never can predict the future. you can only hope, pray and dream things will work out in your favor. and if they don't, i'll be the first to say its okay to mope around and cry a little. everyday things will get easier and eventually the storm will pass. you think about the past a little less each day, but you won't forget. you'll keep those memories forever because they help mold you into the person you are today. i know, i choose my attitude daily and its so easy to be negative, and be mad at the world. that's not the person i am. its not the person i want to become. i don't want to fake happiness...i genuinely want to be happy. i'm still fairly young, and have a lot to learn. i can just take this experience as a lesson learned and not repeat the same mistakes.

4 comments:

Adorably Distracted... said...

I hope you feel better :) I know what you mean about it being so easy to be negative. I had to get past some of those days myself. Things will get better though! and like you said, you just have to hope and pray things will work out in your favor! I think every thing always happens for a reason.

mixed girl said...

Thank you! I really apperciate your kind words. With time and prayer, things will look up. At least thats what I keep telling myself.

LeeAnn said...

YOu know last wish I made, 1 year later I met Ken. Im just saying... Wish as you may my dear!! Always wish.. It keeps us young. See you tomorrow!!

mixed girl said...

Thank you LeeAnn!! You and Ken are a great example of a wonderful relationship/marriage! Can't wait to see you guys :)