Wednesday, June 8, 2011

tears can bring great gifts.

all my life i've been a crier...

it's just something i've never been able to control. no matter how hard i try. i just finished reading, God Never Blinks (50 Lessons for Life’s Little Detours) by Regina Brett. very good read. i strongly recommend it. its always interesting to read others opinions of life. one chapter, really spoke to me because it felt like she was not only describing herself, but me too.

"To cry openly shows a lack of control, a loss of power. In a culture that values strength, even tearing up is unacceptable.

All my life, I tried to become stronger by crying less. But whenever I held the sadness in, my face grew red, my cheeks hurt, and the tears escaped no matter how hard I tried to squeeze them back. Then one day a counselor told me that those tears were an asset. Carole said they were part of me, just like my blue eyes and brown hair. “What a wonderful gift, to feel so intensely,” she said.

We need to stop hiding our tears and actually share them. It takes a strong person to cry. It takes a stronger person to let others see those tears. We need to be tough enough to be tender, no matter who is watching.

Tears can bring great gifts – humility, intimacy with God, greater devotion, peace and strength.
“Jesus wept.” – he showed his humanity. He shed messy, unmanly tears. He didn’t do it in private. He did in front of his friends and followers. In front of a crowd."

i often wonder if the gift to feel so intensely is a blessing in disguise.

why did God choose to me to be this way?

yesterday, someone extremely close to me lost a loved one.

this person has been in my life for so long and has been such a huge part of me life. i also met the person that passed. as soon as i heard the news, tears instantly streamed down my face. it almost felt like the person that had passed was my family member. i can't explain the way i feel right now. i guess because i care so strongly for this person, i hate knowing they're going through such a difficult time. i've never had a loved one or someone close to me pass, so i can only imagine how i'll feel will i have to deal with that. i've prayed consistently for the last twenty-four hours for the person that passed, knowing their in a much better place, my friend and his family. my heart feels so heavy because as much as you want to be there for someone dealing with such a heart breaking situation, there's only so much you really can do.

sometimes praying for someone is the best thing you can do for them.


Sam {} said...

i cry about absolutely everything. i used to hate this about myself, but i think i'm gradually starting to embrace it :)

Kristyn Ellen said...

Sorry to hear about the loss. Never easy.

Brandi @ Home Team Dreams said...

This is such a great post Ashley. And, so meaningful to me. I grew up in a family where showing emotion, especially outside of the home, was a big no-no. We were taught to be reserved and composed at all times. And unfortunately, even as an adult that is still a big part of me. I definitely express my emotions with tears if I feel the need more than I used to but being stoic is somewhat still a big part of me. Your words "tough enough to be tender" really speaks volumes to me. Thanks for this.

melifaif said...

Gosh, what a gorgeous and enlightening post, Ashley!? Made me tear up...and I am NOT a crier. Ha. ;-) I never was growing up...motherhood changed ALL that. And I do see if as a good thing now too. I am a highly self guarded person....but tears show truth. And the truth is good. I am sorry for your loss, and that of your friend too. God speed.

Emily said...

I loved this quote in your book. I used to be the type to hold it all in, feeling it wasn't 'strong' to cry in front of people. Hardening my heart in the process. (I even made a bet w/a guy friend on who'd cry 1st. I won, 1 year later)
And now I see this w/people very close to me, who still find it weak to cry (females, no less) and I cringe each time she says, she refuses to cry.

I'm now one who cries over EVERYTHING and isn't afraid to show it. I find it shows a softened heart too.
Any way, thanks for sharing this!

Jenni @ Story of My Life said...

You're beautiful Ashley... inside and out. I love to read your thoughts!

Stevie Leigh said...

Beautiful post. I'm definitely a crier, too. I'll need to pick up that book!

And great blog, girl! So glad I stumbled on it!

- S from Following the Walkers

Faith said...

i'm the same way ... i can't hide my sadness at all. i have finally learned that it is a part of me and i must accept it ... i like the way you put it though ... maybe to cry is strength.

Natalia Lynn said...

I am so sorry to hear this. I lost my cousin last year and it has been a rough year. He left behind his young wife, they were only married 10 months. Man, death is a weird, hard experience. But as you said, he is in a better place and all we can really do is pray for the family and be there for them.
On a different note, I am so happy to have found your blog! I can't wait to read more!