all my life i've been a crier...
it's just something i've never been able to control. no matter how hard i try. i just finished reading, God Never Blinks (50 Lessons for Life’s Little Detours) by Regina Brett. very good read. i strongly recommend it. its always interesting to read others opinions of life. one chapter, really spoke to me because it felt like she was not only describing herself, but me too.
"To cry openly shows a lack of control, a loss of power. In a culture that values strength, even tearing up is unacceptable.
All my life, I tried to become stronger by crying less. But whenever I held the sadness in, my face grew red, my cheeks hurt, and the tears escaped no matter how hard I tried to squeeze them back. Then one day a counselor told me that those tears were an asset. Carole said they were part of me, just like my blue eyes and brown hair. “What a wonderful gift, to feel so intensely,” she said.
We need to stop hiding our tears and actually share them. It takes a strong person to cry. It takes a stronger person to let others see those tears. We need to be tough enough to be tender, no matter who is watching.
Tears can bring great gifts – humility, intimacy with God, greater devotion, peace and strength.
“Jesus wept.” – he showed his humanity. He shed messy, unmanly tears. He didn’t do it in private. He did in front of his friends and followers. In front of a crowd."
i often wonder if the gift to feel so intensely is a blessing in disguise.
why did God choose to me to be this way?
yesterday, someone extremely close to me lost a loved one.
this person has been in my life for so long and has been such a huge part of me life. i also met the person that passed. as soon as i heard the news, tears instantly streamed down my face. it almost felt like the person that had passed was my family member. i can't explain the way i feel right now. i guess because i care so strongly for this person, i hate knowing they're going through such a difficult time. i've never had a loved one or someone close to me pass, so i can only imagine how i'll feel will i have to deal with that. i've prayed consistently for the last twenty-four hours for the person that passed, knowing their in a much better place, my friend and his family. my heart feels so heavy because as much as you want to be there for someone dealing with such a heart breaking situation, there's only so much you really can do.
sometimes praying for someone is the best thing you can do for them.