This past weekend, my duties as maid of honor began. Yay! We went to look at wedding dresses. Exciting, right? Let me say, I am beyond thrilled for my bestie. After all, this is an exciting time in a girl’s life. And, I am honored to be standing by her side on her big day!
As we went through all of the gorgeous jaw-dropping dresses, I imagined myself doing the exact same thing…for my special day. This is not intended to be a sad, pity party post for poor, little Ashley. Trust me; I’m not trying to be a Debbie Downer. Debbie, is no friend of mine!
Buuuttttt....being single, turning twenty-six and the fact that, most of my friends are either in a serious relationship, engaged, married and having kids, makes me look twice at my own current situation. And, then I read all of you’re blogs filled with so much love. I’m not envious or jealous for the people who have a special significant other in their life, in fact, I’m happy for them. I truly am. Love is a beautiful thing. I’ve learned to be content in my current state, because I have faith that I will be blessed too, one day. However, being single doesn’t always have its perks. I just try to think that there is a lesson be hide this single season.
When your current status reads: single…you tend to look at yourself. You question yourself. What’s wrong with me? Yes, I’m guilty as charged. I’ve questioned myself countless times. At the end of the day, you look in the mirror and see your reflection staring back at you. You can’t run from who you are. You can only appreciate the many lessons, blessings and experiences, He has provided for you. Nothing is wrong with you at all. Everyone just goes through life at their own pace. I learned, I was blocking my own blessings from happening because I was never fully satisfied with my current state, even when I was in a relationship. I always wanted more. I never learned the thing called, patience. Well, guess what...patience is trying to be my BFF now. Took you long enough!
Life is just too short. One day it hit me. Wham, right in the face! Talk about ouch! I finally realized my worth. Some of us already know our worth and I guess others have to learn this. I had to learn this. I realized what a beautiful woman, inside and out, I truly am. For so long, I relied on others to make me happy and bring me joy. But it wasn’t till recently, I learned you are not responsible for other people's happiness, because everyone is responsible for their own lives and happiness. You have to be happy and content with yourself first, and anyone else who comes into your life will only enhance what you've already established. It’s funny how wedding dress shopping for my best friend turned into thinking about all of that...us women, and our dang analyzing. Thanks a lot, Eve!
Yesterday, in church the sermon was based around fulfilling our potential that God has given us. As I’m sitting in the pew listening closely, I thought to myself, am I fulfilling my full potential? I realize we are all works in progress and there is a lesson to learn everyday. God is constantly giving us the same tests over and over again, until we learn the lesson. This is why I feel the need to strengthen my relationship with Him… because all things are possible because of Him. He knows my needs and wants. And, He is the only one who can answer my prayers. I realize, I have a role to play, and that God is not going to do all the work for me. I feel like my faith, positive attitude and living in the present (not the past) is the only way I’m going to receive.