Thursday, August 25, 2011

PONDERISMS.


a co-worker sent me this email.
gotta love forwards at work (:

the "thangs" that make you go...hmmmmmm, right?


" I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.


" There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

" Life is sexually transmitted.

" Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

" The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

" Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

" Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

" Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

" All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

" In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.


" How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

" Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out'?

“ If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

" Why does your OB-GYN leave the room while you get undressed as if they are not going to look up there anyway?

" If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

" If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

" Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

" Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? - haha, we all do this!

" Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

" Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?

8 comments:

Jennifer said...

Bahaha! Now this is good! I hate the stupid forwards, but this is awesome! haha! Thanks for the laugh!

melifaif said...

I soooooo needed this today! But, good news. I busted the funk last night. Well, mother nature helped....but you'll have to tune in later to see what cracked the case!!!! I feel so much better....thinking of you friend!

Sam {fitnessfoodandfaith.blogspot.com} said...

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - that is AWESOME. love these :)

Alisha said...

Hehe too funny!! Hope the new job is going well :)

xoxo

Courtney B said...

HAHAHA! LOVE this! I totally needed this laugh, so thanks for sharing :)

Chelsea said...

I love this a hundred times. Like, I'm literally book-marking this page. Ha ha ha. "Life is sexually transmitted"? Awesome.

~Chelsea

inHERshoes said...

this is hilarious! the first three are my faves :)

Faith said...

hahahhaa, i love this! so funny ... and seriously about the elevator, hahaha.